Off topic: Babies : end users' handbook Thread poster: Thierry LOTTE
| Thierry LOTTE Local time: 06:24 Member (2001) English to French + ...
Hi colleagues ! I have received the following text from a Prozanian friend who just received it from another Prozanian friend who, himself, received it from another one who is unable to remember who sent it to him first ! That’s INTERNET Folks ! 1st, 2nd, 3rd baby. This is funnier for those of us with more than 1 child and for those of you with none this is way too real. Your Clothes: 1st baby: You begin... See more Hi colleagues ! I have received the following text from a Prozanian friend who just received it from another Prozanian friend who, himself, received it from another one who is unable to remember who sent it to him first ! That’s INTERNET Folks ! 1st, 2nd, 3rd baby. This is funnier for those of us with more than 1 child and for those of you with none this is way too real. Your Clothes: 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. Preparing for the Birth: 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. The Layette: 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes color-coordinate them and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean & discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Worries: 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown-- you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Pacifier: 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in Diapering: 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. Activities: 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. Going Out: 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. At Home: 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children. Swallowing Coins (a favorite): 1st child: when first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays. 2nd child: when second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass. 3rd child: when third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!! End
[Edited at 2004-09-22 03:47] ▲ Collapse | | |
Thanks, Thierry! This is hilarious!!! Rgds, ALE | | | Trudy Peters United States Local time: 01:24 German to English + ...
I remember it well | | |
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Monika Coulson Local time: 23:24 Member (2001) English to Albanian + ... SITE LOCALIZER Thanks Thierry, | Sep 22, 2004 |
These are hilarious! And María Alejandra, your baby is adorable! Such a cute little boy! Monika | | | That was cute... | Sep 22, 2004 |
I can't say that it's all true for me, but it is hilarious. I still never got over the "gazing at the baby" part, even for the sixth one... 8) | | |
Gayle Wallimann wrote: I still never got over the "gazing at the baby" part, even for the sixth one... 8) I do gaze them, too, especially when they do not notice me gazing at them. But it is so true though, that with the second child (and the third after) you really are a lot more relaxed on many things, which I believe is good for both, mom & child. One thing though I never stopped doing - watching them time by time, since they still do not realize the danger in many things they do or touch. Have a good day ever body, Fabiana | | |
1st baby: You always carry a camera ready to shoot every gesture of the child. 2nd baby: Your spouse reminds you to take the camera and shoot on special occasions (birthdays, etc.) 3rd baby: I do not know, we did not do it yet! From the men's side: 1st baby: You are eager to accompany your spouse during her monthly ultrasound checks. 2nd baby: Oh dear, don't you see how much I am busy, and can't you go alone! 3rd baby:... See more 1st baby: You always carry a camera ready to shoot every gesture of the child. 2nd baby: Your spouse reminds you to take the camera and shoot on special occasions (birthdays, etc.) 3rd baby: I do not know, we did not do it yet! From the men's side: 1st baby: You are eager to accompany your spouse during her monthly ultrasound checks. 2nd baby: Oh dear, don't you see how much I am busy, and can't you go alone! 3rd baby: I would not take a part in having a 3rd either. Do it yourself!
[Edited at 2004-09-22 12:29] ▲ Collapse | |
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No comments. I'm mother of FIVE. | | | Robert Zawadzki (X) Local time: 06:24 English to Polish + ... Gazing doers no pass that easily | Sep 22, 2004 |
When my 14-year old son realizes my wife is watching him, he starts using dirty language on his instant messenger. | | |
That's really good - thank you for having a great laugh on a grey morning. I only have one child, but my aunt (3 children) used to say: first baby: you clean the bottles carefully and boil them afterwards for exactly twenty minutes. second baby: you clean the bottles and wash them out with hot water third baby: did I clean the bottle ? | | | So funny and so true!!! | Sep 28, 2004 |
My poor 5 month old now...her siblings all have professional portraits on the wall and she has a drawing I did myself (albeit a beautiful one!!) while holding her in my arms! I'll go have photos done soon, I promise! | |
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Robin Ward Germany Local time: 06:24 German to English + ... Truly a great laugh! | Sep 29, 2004 |
.... Thank God we've only got one! -Croc | | | Lincoln Hui Hong Kong Local time: 13:24 Member Chinese to English + ...
A Modest Proposal is the only handbook on babies that anyone needs. | | | Now THAT was worth reviving! | Feb 17, 2021 |
Thanks for bringing this one up again! In my case it was first baby: Wow, he only slept 5 hours a night for weeks... He did not sleep through until he was three, he only slept a couple of hours at a time... Apart from that, he was adorable, 19 hours a day, and probably the other five too, but I was out for the count and wouldn't know. Second baby? What second baby?! I got used to the bliss of six or seven hours of unbroken sleep, and started loo... See more Thanks for bringing this one up again! In my case it was first baby: Wow, he only slept 5 hours a night for weeks... He did not sleep through until he was three, he only slept a couple of hours at a time... Apart from that, he was adorable, 19 hours a day, and probably the other five too, but I was out for the count and wouldn't know. Second baby? What second baby?! I got used to the bliss of six or seven hours of unbroken sleep, and started looking after other people's babies. You can send them home when you have had enough By then, mine was bilingual and more fun than ever, but no way was I having another. Now he knows what I mean. He has his own adorable two-year old, picking up three languages and really fascinating. But these days we all have to save the planet, and the CO2 impact of a baby is quite incredible. Second grandchild? What second grandchild? ▲ Collapse | | | To report site rules violations or get help, contact a site moderator: You can also contact site staff by submitting a support request » Babies : end users' handbook Protemos translation business management system | Create your account in minutes, and start working! 3-month trial for agencies, and free for freelancers!
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