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угол, кратный 90°
Электрическое теплоаккумуляционное отопление
Oct 13, 2014 15:07
9 yrs ago
Russian term

ПисАть, как и пИсать...

Russian to English Art/Literary Other
... нужно только тогда, когда больше уже невмоготу. This, of course, is a famous aphorism by the incomparable M. M. Zhvanetsky and it means that you should only write when you absolutely cannot hold it back any longer - just as you would with taking a leak. Now, I'd like to tap the collective wisdom here on how to best render this in English without losing the somewhat risque flair of the original. My own efforts have not progressed beyond the tinkle-scribble line so far, and that doesn't seem to be particularly impressive. Of course, you can always give a note, if need be, but that pretty much equals to throwing up the white flag, don't you think?

Any ideas welcome, but please don't insult my intelligence by offering me verbatim translations. Thank you.
Proposed translations (English)
3 No idea? Logorrhea!
4 +5 write only when you cannot hold it (any longer)
3 take your pen as you take a leak
3 *

Discussion

Mikhail Kropotov Oct 13, 2014:
I only give myself credit for improving "hold it" to "hold it in."
The Misha (asker) Oct 13, 2014:
It doesn't matter. We all draw inspiration from somewhere and then go do our own thing. To me this "writing is like taking a piss" is now so obvious that I am almost cross with myself for not having thought of it myself. It's right on the surface, really, and it has a great natural ring to it. Thanks, Mikhail.
Mikhail Kropotov Oct 13, 2014:
I drew inspiration from Lilian's answer but feel free to use it, Misha.
The Misha (asker) Oct 13, 2014:
Mikhail, why don't you post your agree as an answer? To me, it sounds like a legitimate natural way out, and it has nothing to do with Lilian's pedestrian verbatim translation. The little "writing is like taking a piss" add-on makes all the difference here.
The Misha (asker) Oct 13, 2014:
Impossible? Really? That's all right, thanks for your opinion.
katerina turevich Oct 13, 2014:
This is wonderful http://listoftheday.blogspot.nl/2011/01/fart-blaming-phrases...

A fart is the cry of an imprisoned turd. Writing is liberation. Together they ...

Whoever can't hold it anymore. For whom the smell rolls. For whom the flow unfolds. For whom the screen beacons. Relief comes when you get to the next stage.
Olga Theobald Oct 13, 2014:
ПисАть и пИсать are omographs in russian, therefore it‘s impossible to keep the word-play.
LilianNekipelov Oct 13, 2014:
It actually might sound too vulgar in English. Also, the pun, or the alliteration would disappear. I don't think there is a way to keep it. I think it is a variation on what Rilke said, that"you should only write when you feel that if you did not you would die".

Proposed translations

3 hrs
Selected

No idea? Logorrhea!

Spare parts in a sentence
come from
long-winded farts of repentance

don't run for paper when you got writing diarrhea, wait until it settles down

Cut the crap, if you are not ready to shit.

If you empty yourself into writing, be prepared to (have to) flush the system




--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 uren (2014-10-13 21:43:26 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

It is some kind of a morphological accident in Russian. No pun intended.
Whereas in English, if you put the two words in opposition like this, you start comparing between the two actions.
Then, writing becomes more like peeing: monotonous, protracted, boring..
The scatological imagery in English is more eruptive. "Writing diarrhea"calls up a fair amount of native sources on google. Good luck with it!

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 uren (2014-10-13 22:02:42 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Writing before your time is like pissing against the wind

Note from asker:
Katerina, I love some of those, especially the one about writing diarrhea, but they are very much things in itself rather than translations of the above witticism, don't you think?
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4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "As I said before, to me Mikhail's "Writing is like taking a piss" seems to be the clear choice here, but since he, in his overarching modesty, refused to post it as a separate answer, I am giving the points to Katherine for the sheer abundance of great creative soundbites she has offered. Thank you, Mikhail and Katherine."
47 mins

take your pen as you take a leak

Off the top of my head - somebody will probably have a better idea :)
Note from asker:
Thanks. I am not so sure though if "take the pen" immediately comes across as a synonym for write. At the very least, one would probably have to say "take up" rather than take, and that kind of kills the parallelism with "take a leak". Either way, let's wait and see what the natives have to say about it. Take (up) the pen as you would a leak? Does it work?
Something went wrong...
+5
1 hr

write only when you cannot hold it (any longer)

My option.
Note from asker:
Thank you, Lilian, but did you read the question in its entirety? Or are you indeed trying to assault my intelligence?
Peer comment(s):
agree Mikhail Kropotov : Writing is like taking a piss. You should only do it when you cannot hold it in any longer.
4 hrs
agree DTSM
4 hrs
agree danya : this is a good one)
14 hrs
agree Susan Welsh : with Mikhail
23 hrs
agree Aleksandra Kleschina : Agree, but "hold it in", not just "hold it".
1 day 8 hrs
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1 hr

*

Never releave yourself of any bodily waste before you absolutely need to (and that includes your stories).

Can't find anything more fitting than "stories" here, though. I believe something broader in meaning might be better.
Note from asker:
Um, doesn't it imply that there's some sort of a benefit to holding on to your "bodily waste" for as long as you can? And that the "stories" are nothing but waste? I am sure plenty of writing folks would take exception to this, and in any case I am afraid this is not quite what the original says. Thanks anyway.
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