| Pages in topic: < [1 2 3] | Giving thanks to agree-ers - why? Thread poster: Melissa McMahon
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Fabio Descalzi 
Uruguay
Local time: 09:34
Member (2004)
German to Spanish
+ ...
Thanks Melissa for sharing your impressions with us.
Melissa McMahon wrote:
It's very interesting not only on different people's understanding and expression of what 'politeness' is but also the idea of 'framing', ie what we think we are 'doing' in a given speech context (showing camaraderie, being polite, winning a race, etc.), and how when these differ, misunderstandings can arise.
Different concepts of what is polite exist around the globe - and even among people speaking the very same language. Perhaps a question of "national subjectivity" many times!
My impression though is that there's room for a lot of different styles here, and I appreciate once again all of the feedback.
Yeah, as a matter of fact, styles abound here.
Although at ProZ.com we are meant to keep a certain sort of style (clearly: avoid vulgarisms, insults, etc.), nevertheless some people stick to a "rather formal" style, others prefer a more "decontracted" one, etc.
| | | | | Also agree with non-thankers | Jul 3, 2007 |
Trudy Peters wrote: and all the others who don't thank agreers. The "thank you" craze has now also infiltrated the "Notes to answerer" box. If you have something related to the Q/A to say, that's fine, but you can thank the answerers when you close the question. I know, I'm not making myself very popular... 
Thank you for thinking I'm right? (how very kind of you-I am so grateful to you for backing my answer????)
I have never understood the reason for saying 'thanks' just for posting a peer agree. Peer comments aren't supposed to be friendly (or unfriendly) gestures, they are supposed to be informed opinions.
| | | | jacana54 (X)
Uruguay
English to Spanish
+ ...
| a delayed reaction here | Jul 17, 2007 |
When I post an "agree" to an answer, sometimes with a comment added, I don't do it to make the answerer feel good (of course, I'm glad if they do).
I do it so that the asker will see that there is an additional opinion/basis in favor of one of the answers; i.e. I am trying to help the asker, so in fact, if anyone should say thank you, that would probably be the asker.
I also think the "thank you" is built into the system: the day I ask a question, I know there will be somebody out t... See more When I post an "agree" to an answer, sometimes with a comment added, I don't do it to make the answerer feel good (of course, I'm glad if they do).
I do it so that the asker will see that there is an additional opinion/basis in favor of one of the answers; i.e. I am trying to help the asker, so in fact, if anyone should say thank you, that would probably be the asker.
I also think the "thank you" is built into the system: the day I ask a question, I know there will be somebody out there who will help me. ▲ Collapse
| | | | Albert Stufkens
Netherlands
Local time: 14:34
Member (2008)
Dutch to English
+ ...
Your arguments are objectively correct IMO. In the beginning I did not thank for the 'agrees' either. But as a newcomer I became sensitive to local customs and went with the stream.
One cannot just ignore the human factor even in science. Besides, an 'agree' and a 'thank you' evoke positive emotions.
Melissa McMahon wrote:
I often see answerers respond with "thanks" to colleagues who post agreement with their answers - and am often thanked myself for posting agreement.
For reasons I'm trying to work out this makes me uncomfortable and I'd be interested if anyone else has had these thoughts or if it's just some weird ancestral Anglo-British squeamishness in me... or Australian...
It is obviously good manners and sense for askers to thank answerers, who have made an effort to respond to a request for help.
But if I agree with a suggested answer, it's not because I want to 'help' the answerer, but because I think the answer is correct. If I am trying to help anyone in agreeing with an answer, it is again the asker, not the answerer.
I don't thank those who agree with me because I don't take agreement to be any personal form of support, like a popularity contest, but assume - and hope! - agree-ers agree for entirely independent and impersonal reasons - the more independent and impersonal, the better for everyone, because the strength of Kudoz is the convergence of opinions coming from entirely different spheres... and it does make me uncomfortable to be thanked for agreeing, because I feel the implication is that I agreed have been 'nice' to the answerer instead of making an objective call.
Then I think: you are an insane philosophy graduate who is WAY overthinking this.
I guess in the end I just worry - as a relative newcomer - that in not thanking agree-ers I come across as bad mannered, that I am breaching a shared community etiquette whose reasons I haven't learned yet.
Thoughts?
Melissa
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| Hitting the nail on the head | Nov 10, 2007 |
Albert Stufkens wrote:
One cannot just ignore the human factor even in science. Besides, an 'agree' and a 'thank you' evoke positive emotions.
Albert, I think that's the most important thing that has been said in this forum. Positive responses make people feel good! And that's sufficient reason for me.
Others have their reasons, and make their choices; we shouldn't read too much into either the "thanks" or the lack of it. I say "thank you" to agreers for the same reason I say "hi" and smile when I pass a stranger on the street: it's a point of human contact, an act that most people find pleasing. When a colleague hits the "agree" button I assume the best: that s/he has thoughtfully read the question and all the answers, and is checking in to say "For whatever it's worth, I think this one's right." When I say "thanks," I'm waving or saying "hi"; I'm acknowledging my colleague's presence and the time taken.
When the colleague merely "agrees," I merely "thank." That's the conventional form of politeness on this website. If s/he takes the time to write more, I always (I hope!) take the time to write a longer response.
But that's just me. I don't get my feelings hurt if somebody doesn't thank me after an agree. In fact, since I don't get an email saying "Nobody has thanked you for your peer comment," I don't even notice that I haven't been thanked, unless I'm tracking the question. However, I smile when I get an email announcing a response. I hope others smile when I thank them.
Jane
Later: I've just re-read the entire forum (it was four months ago!) and discovered that my remarks are redundant. Others, including me, have said what Albert and I just wrote. I apologize if I've wasted anyone's time, but I'm not deleting my post because ... well ... I want Albert to know that someone read and responded to his post! Human contact again; isn't that why we participate in forums?
[Edited at 2007-11-10 17:43]
| | | | Albert Stufkens
Netherlands
Local time: 14:34
Member (2008)
Dutch to English
+ ...
| Thanking you | Nov 11, 2007 |
Always fine to find to have made a contribution to a cause.
JaneTranslates wrote:
I want Albert to know that someone read and responded to his post! Human contact again; isn't that why we participate in forums?
[Edited at 2007-11-10 17:43]
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Melissa,
I agree with you 100%, and I don't expect you to thank me for my agreement.
I think it is wonderful that, having a background in philosophy, you raised this issue, as it is indeed a philosophical issue, and it goes way beyond KudoZ.
If I express an opinion, and you agree, do I owe you thanks? But - why? What if I hold an opinion that is wrong - so wrong that sticking to that it might harm me? I think in this case, I should instead thank a pers... See more Melissa,
I agree with you 100%, and I don't expect you to thank me for my agreement.
I think it is wonderful that, having a background in philosophy, you raised this issue, as it is indeed a philosophical issue, and it goes way beyond KudoZ.
If I express an opinion, and you agree, do I owe you thanks? But - why? What if I hold an opinion that is wrong - so wrong that sticking to that it might harm me? I think in this case, I should instead thank a person who showed me that I was wrong.
It is hard sometimes to see the folly of our own opinion, and so we should thank others for showing us that we are wrong (if that's the case indeed).
Respectfully,
Alexandra ▲ Collapse
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